The Best Damn Thing
2F - Full Length - 90-100 min
In 2002 the Lord sent us a prophet. A Canadian Queen who waged war against the status quo one loose necktie at a time. A rebel with a soft side. A Pop Punk Princess with an army of disciples who believed in earnest that ordinariness was death and that a red “X” on the sleeve of their leather jacket was life. We refused to listen to her, and look where we are now. Enter: Ellie, a lonely teenager growing up in Missouri, who knows with all her heart that Avril Lavigne's message must be heard. So, for her savior, she has written what just might be the best jukebox musical ever conceived. She’s ready to share it with the world, starting with her former best friend Rachel, their theatre teacher’s favorite, who she thinks can help her pitch it for their school’s spring musical. The Best Damn Thing is a boldly theatrical exploration of young women’s genius and power in the face of a society hellbent on holding them back.
Production and Development History
Production, The Understudy Coffee and Books, Chicago IL, dir. Grace Dolezal-Ng, January 27-February 5 2024
Reading, UP Theater, New York, NY, October 2021
Reading, First Floor Theater, Chicago, IL, Jan 2020
Developed through the New Colony’s Writers Room, Chicago, IL Fall 2019
Honors
Finalist, Eugene O’Neill Theatre Center’s National Playwrights Conference, Waterford, CT, May 2021
Finalist, Up: Renewal Reading Series, New York, NY, July 2020
Press
American Theatre Magazine, “Best Damn Book Shop: The Understudy’s New Frontier” By By Gabriela Furtado Coutinho
Chicago Reader, “The Best Damn Thing explores teenage power and pain” by Yasmin Zacaria Mikhaiel
Block Club Chicago, “Avril Lavigne-Inspired Musical ‘The Best Damn Thing’ Helps Viewers Connect With Their Inner Teen” by Kayleigh Padar
Production photos by Juli del Prete
Show Specs
CHARACTERS
ELLIE ………………… 16, she/her, any race
Possibly the most talented person in the world. Probably also the most awkward and annoying. Gleek. Atheist. Has a Tumblr. Gay but she doesn’t know it. Also plays: MELANIE (popular and pretty and not like other girls), MRS. LEMON (a concerned teacher), TREVOR (himbo loser), MELANIE’S MOM (unhappy housewife)
RACHEL ……………16, she/her, any race
The first girl at her school to own a pair of Docs. So cool. So sad. The best actor in their class but would rather die than say she cares about it. Gay and she knows it, but no one else does. Also plays: APRIL (rebel loner who is not like other girls), BRIDGETTE (vapid popular pretty girl), MR. LEMON (supportive husband), MELANIE’S DAD (toxic husband)
A Note on Music:
All the songs featured within the play are original songs inspired by Avril Lavigne, co-written by myself and Sara Geist. For vocalists: these should be performed in the style of a real stadium concert rather than musical theatre – little to no vibrato, the most fun punk rock energy you can muster.